My great grandfather was a Slave
My grandfather was a Native
My grandmother was a Bantu
My mother was a kaffir, Nigga, Negro
Names imposed by shackles
But an Afrakan I am
An identity my forefathers were deprived of
An identity I am now polluting with the fumes of cigarettes
In dope I am giving it another face
In ecstasy I am giving it a comical image
My drunken stupor gives it an unstable belonging
My borrowed accent contradicts what it represents
My imitated dress code conceals its beauty
My adopted religion undermines my intellectual prowess
My language deafens my ancestors
My values are valueless
My mind is discriminatory
It repels anything indigenous
Whilst absorbing all that is alien
None can identify with me
Even those I am emulating
Patriotism I reserve for my kind
I look down at my patriots
If I were xenophobic
I could have been my own victim
I pride myself in my slanted inferior education
An education promptly deleting my true history
Ignorance is my custom
I am dreaming dreams my forefathers cannot interpret
I am singing praise songs for my dying culture
I am branding a heritage
I cannot inherit
Knowledge of freedom is embedded in my subconscious
But suppressed by fear
Fear to develop my culture and identity
Fear to be rejected by the world
Fear to be different and still love myself
Yet with no identity I remain
I sat so merry in my abode
Loving hands around me
I dreamt of such glorious days
One day i would see
I remember the day I left
My room
I closed the door behind me
One quick look again
Then walked away
The room which would always remind me
The glorious days I had dreamt
I did merrily spent
How little did I then know
Life turns on a dime
My room is now not as it was
When I closed the door
Behind me
My room now is a prison
But not how one would invision
It is one of sorrow and grief
Sadness burns into the bare walls
I catch my breath
And weep
Why did thou'st doth betray?
The room which once embraced me
I ask with riddled heart
Jagged and torn
Which wicked riddles have I thus sought?
I sit still
I am now my room
No dreams as once before
I age before my open door
In my room long ago
I sat merrily in my loving abode
Loving hands did hold me
All gone
My room and myself
Now one
Two thrust to be together
Forever
Alone