Brad and Tara were at odds. They stared angrily at each other. With tears streaming down Tara’s face, she offered Brad an ultimatum. “It’s time to make a choice. It’s either me or your new mistress.”

“Rose, her name is Rose Gray. Why can’t you call her by her proper name?”

“Brad I am tired. The two of you spend every waking moment together. You haven’t taken me to dinner in a year. We have not made love in months. The other night I got dolled up in a sexy negligée and you didn’t even notice. You came home and went straight to bed. You didn’t even take your socks off.”

“Quit being a drama queen, Tara. I was tired, I worked all day.”

Tara stood fast. “What’s it going to be? Me or your new love?”

“I am not giving up on Rosie,” Brad insisted.

Tara wheeled and strode off in disgust. As she climbed into her car she exclaimed. “You will be hearing from my lawyer.”

Brad pulled a stool up behind where Rosie stood. He stroked her backside. “Don’t worry honey, nothing will come between us. From now on it is just you and me old girl.”

True to her word Tara filed for a divorce on the grounds of alienation of affection. Two months later they appeared in court.

The judge asked, “Are all parties present? Where is this Rose Gray mentioned in the testimony?”

Tara barked back. “No, Rosie is still back home, where he left her. He sleeps with her every night.”

Brad added. “She can’t come out right now.”

The confused magistrate asked. “Why isn’t she here at this hearing, and why can’t she come out? What is her problem?”

Brad replied, “Her engine needs to be rebuilt.”

“What?” Asked the judge.

“Rose is my 1965 Rose Red Corvette convertible.”

The judge slammed down his gavel. “Divorce granted.”

Tara was awarded the couple's entire estate. Minus Rose Gray, of course.