I have always loved stories; I love to create and share them. Even as a #trainer #facilitator my training sessions are #story based. Right from my first #book , #VersionOneandaHalf , to my ninth and the latest, #TheHunterGenesis , I have enjoyed writing each and every story and take pride in the fact that they all may not be perfect books but they surely are damn good stories. Each story has left something positive with me and now writing is my own free #therapy that helps me to #declutter .

This post was prompted after my discussion with someone who picked up writing as a way to overcome #depression six months ago. This person picked up writing after my suggestion and is on the verge of publishing his first book. #writing is now an inseparable part of his life and not just that he has managed to percolate this habit further to two of his colleagues as well. Touché to creating two more #writers 👍 

#writinghabit #writingisgood #writingistherepeutic

Writing transports you into a world that you chose to create, taking you away from your pain, even if it is momentary. Benefits of regular writing are immense, its just the matter of developing a healthy habit to write regularly. Start with something short; a #paragraph or an #essay and scale it up to a short story followed by a #novella and then a #novel .

As far as motivation goes, its all around us. You don’t need to travel to far off places to find your motivation for writing, its all around us. Something interesting is always happening around us all you need to do is observe and write about it in your own unique way. A daily diary or a #journal is a very good way to start writing. My first book, Version One and a Half, is nothing but stories from my childhood that I had journaled over the years. All you need is the will and you will surely find a way to start writing.

I will also take this opportunity to answer some of the frequently asked questions about publishing that I often come across:

1. Do I need to write everyday to be an author?

Write at your pace as and when you feel motivated to write. There is no set formula or time that you need to devote everyday to be an author. Write when you feel like writing but ensure that you record your thoughts and ideas somewhere as and when they pop up; my phone’s a great writing tool where I record my ideas even at odd hours. You can even record your thoughts in audio format and later pen them down.

2. Do I need a separate setup where I can write?

Its totally up to you, if you want to setup a separate space in your home or office where you feel comfortable writing. Authors often play music, use scented candles, prefer a specific type of furniture, use a certain kind of lighting, some prefer plants in their writing space to create a creative environment. For me personally, I can write anywhere. I don’t have any specific setting or space to write. All I need is my phone to record my thoughts and I can start writing anywhere, anytime. I finished my book ‘The Metro-Maniac Chronicles’ while travelling in Delhi’s famed transit system, #TheDelhiMetro . So, its individual preference as to what do you want or where do you want your writing space to be.

3. Is there a specific style of writing a book? Do I need to attend a course or study to become an author?

Learning from the experts certainly has its merits and a bonafide writing course or study can certainly help. Saying that, writing just like any other art form cannot and will not be limited to just one style or pattern. As a writer you have the freedom to create your own style of writing and this freedom is what is therapeutic. Learn from the best but create your own writing style and narrate your unique story in your niche way.

4. Do I need to publish a physical book to be seriously taken as an author?

You most certainly don’t need to publish a book to be an author, although that certainly can be a great milestone in your journey as an author. There are other ways of publishing your work online, #kindle , #kobo , #Wattpad, Apple #Ibooks etc. are some of the platforms where you can publish ebooks. You can even publish short stories as #ebooks on these platforms. Websites such as, #medium are good for articles, research journals, reviews, essays etc. Bottom line is, if you do research you will find more ways to share your story with the world, a physical book is just one of those ways.

5. Is ebook better than a physical book?

There can’t be a definitive answer to this question. While a physical book still has a certain charm which people don’t get out of an ebook, the ebook market has seen considerable jump in the past few years so much so that a chunk of readers now prefer to read an ebook compared to a physical book. Also, with audio books breaking through, now readers have the choice to listen to books as well. From business point of view, you must publish both physical and ebook versions of your book to reach both kind of readers and an audio version of the book will certainly add zing. Offer your story in as many different ways you can.

6. Is traditional publishing better then self-publishing?

It certainly is because #traditionalpublishers provide better marketing and physical presence of your book at bookstores. When it comes to traditional publishing, the platform is much wider hence the branding is equally huge. The best part about traditional publishing is that the author doesn’t spend much from their pocket. Sometimes they also offer cost sharing and revenue sharing models as well. The only flip side is that the publishing process is lengthy and traditional publishers cannot take over every project that they receive. They have to pickup the best stories which they think can sell. However, some of the biggest authors have chosen #selfpublishing to launch their work. The Martian by Andy Weir, The Tale of Peter Rabbit by Beatrix Potter, Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki, The Joy of Cooking by Irma Rombauer to name a few have been really successful self-published books. Every service you chose in the self-publishing model is paid for from your pocket. Royalties in self-publishing model can vary from 70% to 80% while in traditional publishing it starts as low as 5% and can go up depending upon the deal with the publisher, but not as much as self-publishing. Whatever form of publishing you chose, ensure that it is best for your work.

7. My book is very good, should I pitch it to screenwriters, producers or movie directors?

Sure, go ahead, I am not the one who tells authors to not go for this and let their book remain a book. Knock yourself out, pitch your story to whoever you know or make a cold pitch to #screenwriters #producers #moviedirectors and get your book converted into a movie or a series. A better option would be to write the screenplay of your own book and then send the full screenplay or just a synopsis to people who matter and see how it goes. Don’t ask me about writing a screenplay because I have no expertise in this field.

8. Do I need to spend a huge amount of money to publish my book?

I suggest breaking up your budget for self-publishing into following steps:

a. Writing — The most important step before everything else. You must put your thoughts on paper or in todays times put your thoughts in a Word file. This will not cost you anything, except if you decided to buy a laptop or computer or a software just to write. This is something only you can control as an author, so make sure your story is unique and without any plot holes. Getting it proof read (or beta reading) is a good way to get feedback even before you send it for editing. This will give you a chance to get feedback and possibly make amendments.

b. Editing — The next critical step. Get your book edited from a professional editor. This should be roughly 30% of your budget. Cost of professional editing can vary from editor to editor. Editing tools such as #grammarly etc. offer self-service at a very decent package. Its your choice and primarily your budget that will decide about the level of editing. I have to admit that I have published some of my earlier books at a very modest budget and hence editing was not always as per the so called standards but I still love my creations nonetheless.

c. Interior formatting and coverpage designing — This can be done by the author, if they are tech savvy, if not then professionals are available on freelancer websites such as Fiverr etc. at an economical cost. Set aside 10% of your total budget for this. Keep in mind that if the designing involves customized illustration (s) then the cost of coverpage designing will also go up substantially. Using online tools such as #canva #kdp etc., you can even design your own coverpage.

d. Publishing and distribution — If you work smartly this can be done free of cost. KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) offers a platform to create both ebook and physical book for free of cost, of course they take away majority of royalty but this is an excellent tool for first time authors. They will also distribute your book worldwide through Amazon. Platforms such #Ingramspark and #LuluPublishing offer one stop solution to publish ebooks and physical books and distribute them worldwide through varied online channels. They also provide the option to place the physical book at libraries across US as well. I have also used #Draft2digital to distribute the ebook version of my book. Uploading your ebook on Draft2digital can increase the reach of your book considerably. There are other similar platforms as well but you need to format and upload the files yourself. If you don’t want to do things yourself or you are not tech savvy and you want to go with a publisher, then make sure you set aside only 10% of your overall budget for this because majority of the budget will go towards editing and the remaining must be set aside for the next and very crucial step. A few publishers offer a packaged solution that includes everything. Make sure that you read the agreement and the list of services included in the package very carefully. If you are looking for physical distribution of the book at book stores then this budget will increase depending upon how wide the distributorship is.

e. Marketing — This is the most important step in the entire publishing journey. Whether you have written a short story or an article or you have written a full fledged book (ebook or physical), marketing is the key if you want your work to reach a wider readership. While 30% of total budget is for editing, 10% for formatting and coverpage designing, 10% for publishing and distribution, 50% of your budget must go towards marketing (you can also add placement of book at bookstores in this budget). Marketing and brand awareness is the key for any successful sales campaign for a product or a service and selling a book is no different. An engaging story combined with comprehensive editing, good formatting, attractive coverpage and a sustained marketing campaign is what is required to be a bestseller. If budget permits, use a combination of online social media marketing and physical marketing (Presence at bookstores, book reading sessions, celebrity and influencer promotion etc.) to reach a wider audience aka customer base.

A few bonus tips for authors:

1. Be open to feedback and bad reviews — Once you decide to publish a book, in whatever form, or write an article on a public platform, you are opening yourself to opinions. In a world driven by social media, people are often eager to share their opinion and reviews about everything, all the while hiding behind their online persona (Which can be fake in many cases but that is separate topic altogether). In many cases these opinions and reviews can be rude. Not everyone will read your book or article with the same mindset. Every reader will have their opinion about your work and in many cases these opinions can be brutal. So, learn to take opinions and bad reviews with a pinch of salt and analyze them constructively. Take the best and leave the rest is how I analyze bad reviews. Use the feedback and reviews to improve your current or next work.

2. Bring some patience along — If you have decided to become a published author then do bring along some patience. Firstly you need patience if you are dealing with a traditional publisher. Don’t send them reminders as there vetting process is pretty long drawn so wait if you have pitched your manuscript to them. Book marketing and sales is also a long drawn process and can take months, if not years, to bring in profits. I just heard an internal whisper to change this to years and not months :) Yes, it can sometimes take years for a book to be a bestseller. It needs a consistent marketing strategy otherwise it will be lost in the ocean ocean filled with thousands of books published each year. Don’t expect results instantly as it takes time to create branding and awareness amongst the readers.

3. Go through the finer points — Whether its traditional or self-publishing, go through the finer points of the agreement carefully. Especially go through the royalty structure and payment terms carefully. Get a list of services that is included in the package and seek clarification, if required. If the contract involves confusing legal points then its a good idea to consult a legal adviser before signing the dotted line (better safe then sorry).

This article is also available on medium.com https://jasveersinghdangi-87442.medium.com/how-i-became-an-author-and-how-you-can-become-one-too-c88be460425c

Feel free to contact me if you need further help with publishing. I help authors on my platform https://www.hsdascent.com/

I am available on most social media platforms #jasveersinghdangi #authorjasveersinghdangi 

My website - https://www.jasveersinghdangi.com/

Amazon Author Central — https://www.amazon.com/stores/Jasveer-Singh-Dangi/author/B07M6KS48Q?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true

Leadstart Profile — https://www.leadstartcorp.com/authors/jasveer-singh-dangi/

Whenever I look at my body of multi-genre work in English, the underlying human possibility intrigues me no end, and why not for my mother tongue Telugu, touted as the Italian of the East, has no linguistic connection with it whatsoever.

To start with, I was born into a land-owning family in Kothalanka, a remote Indian village, of Andhra Pradesh to be precise that is after the British had folded their colonial tents from the sub-continent, but much before the rural education mechanism was geared up therein. It was thus the circumstances of my birth enabled me to escape from the tiresome chores of primary schooling till I had a nine-year fill of an unbridled childhood, embellished by village plays and enriched by grandma’s tales, made all the more appealing by her uncanny storytelling ability. Added to that, as my great great maternal grandfather happened to be a poet laureate at the court of a princeling of yore, maybe their genes together strived to infuse their muses in me their progeny. 

However, as the English plants that Lord Macaulay planted in the Hindustani soil hadn’t taken roots in the hinterland till then, it’s the native tongues that held the sway in the best part of that ancient land. No wonder then, well into my secondary schooling, leave alone constructing an English sentence, whenever I had to read one, I used to be afflicted by an unceasing stammer. Maybe, it was at the behest of the unseen hand of human possibility, or owing to his foresight, and /or both that, in time, my father had shifted our family base to the cosmopolitan town of Kakinada to admit me into Class X at the McLaren High School. And with that began my affair with the English language, facilitated by Chinnababu, my classmate, which, courtesy Abbimavayya, my maternal uncle, found fruition in the continental fiction, in translation, however to the detriment of my mechanical engineering education to the chagrin of my vexed father.     

Nevertheless, even as the Penguin classics imbibed in me the love for language that is besides broadening my outlook of life, my nature enabled me to explore the possibilities of youth. That’s not all, all through; it was as if destiny tended to afford my life to examine its intrigues while fiction enabled me to handle its vicissitudes with fortitude that stood me in good stead throughout. Besides, in those days of yore, as letter-writing was in vogue, I was wont to embellish my missives to friends and the loved-ones with the insights the former induced and the emotions the latter stirred in me. So to say, all those letters that my latter-day novels carry owe more to my ingrained habit than to the narrative need of my muse.

Providentially, when I was thirty-three, my eyes and mind seemed to have combined to explore the effect of the led on the leader, and when the resultant ‘Organizational ethos and good Leadership’ was published in The Hindu; I experienced the inexplicable thrill of seeing one’s name in print. Enthused thus by the fortuitous development, I began to articulate my views on general, and materials management, general insurance, politics, and, not to speak of, life and literature in over a score of published articles. But fiction writing was nowhere near my pen and the thought of becoming a novelist was beyond my horizon for Leo Tolstoy, Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Ivan Turgenev, Emily Zola, Gustav Flaubert et al (I hadn’t read Marcel Proust and Robert Musil by then) were, and are, my literary deities, and how dare I, their devotee, to envision myself in the sanctum sanctorum of the novel.

All the same, when I was forty-four, having been fascinated by the manuscript of a ­satirical novella penned by one Bhibhas Sen, an Adman, with whom I had been on the same intellectual page for the past four years then, it occurred to me, ‘when he could, I can for sure’. It was as if Sen had driven away the ghosts of those literary greats that came to shadow my muse but as life would have it, it was another matter that not wanting to foul his work, as he hadn’t obliged the willing publisher to pad it up to a ‘publishable size’, that manuscript remained in the literary limbo.

So, with my muse thus unshackled, I set to work on the skeletal idea of Pardonables, the working title of Benign Flame, with the conviction that for fiction to impact readers, it should be the soulful rendering of characters rooted in their native soil, not the hotchpotch of the local and foreign caricatures sketched on a hybrid canvas, the then norm of the Indian Writing in English. Yet, it took me a full fortnight to make the narrative flowing with the opening – ‘That winter night in the mid-seventies, the Janata Express was racing rhythmically on its tracks towards the coast of Andhra Pradesh. As its headlight pierced the darkness of the fertile plains, the driver honked the horn as though to awake the sleepy environs to the spectacle of the speeding train.’  

However, from then on, it was as though a ‘novel’ chemistry had developed between my muse and the mood of its characters that shaped its fictional course, and soon I came to believe that I had something exceptional to offer to the world of letters, nay the world itself. So, not wanting to die till I gave it to it, I tended to go to lengths to preserve my life that was till I delivered it in nine months with a ‘top of the world’ feeling at that. Then, when one Spencer Critchley, an American critic, thought that – “It’s a refreshing surprise to discover that the story will not trace a fall into disaster for Roopa, given that many writers might have habitually followed that course with a wife who strays into extramarital affairs” – I felt vindicated about my unique contribution. Just the same, as there were no takers to it among the Indian publishers and the Western agents, I was left with no heart to bring my pen to any more paper (those were the pre-keyboard days) though my head was swirling with many a novel idea, triggered by my examined life lived in an eventful manner.  

Nevertheless, sometime later, that was after I happened to browse through a published book; I had resumed writing, owing altogether to a holistic reason: while it was the quality of Sen’s unpublished work that set me on a fictional course from which I was derailed by the publishers’ apathy, strangely, it was the paucity of any literary worth in that published book that spurred me back onto the novel track to pursue the pleasure of writing for its own sake. It’s thus; I could reach the literary stations of - Crossing the Mirage and Jewel-less Crown that was before my pen, in the wake of the hotly debated but poorly analyzed post-Godhra communal riots, took a non-fictional turn with the Puppets of Faith. 

Thereafter, as if wanting me to lend my literary hand to other genres, my muse heralded me into the arena of translation, ushered me onto the unknown stage, put me on a stream of consciousness, took me to crime scenes, dragged me into the by-lanes of short stories, and driven me into the novella fold. However, as a prodigal son, I took to my first steps into the Telugu short story field with my ‘Missteps’ తప్పటడుగులు.

Whatever, it was Michael Hart, the founder of the Project Gutenberg, who first lent his e-hand to my books ever in search of readers. But who would have thought that life held such literary possibilities in the English language for a rustic Telugu lad reared in the rural Andhra, even in the post-colonial India? So, the possibilities of life are indeed novel and seemingly my life has crystallized itself in my body of work before death could dissipate it.

My body of work in varied genres is in the public domain as free ebooks (Google search BS Murthy Author)

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BS Murthy is an Indian novelist, playwright, short story and non-fiction writer, translator, a 'little' thinker and a budding philosopher with "Addendum to Evolution: Origins of the world" published in The Examined Life On-Line Philosophy Journal, Vol. 05 Issue 18, Summer 2004 that's republished in Academia.edu. https://independent.academia.edu/BulusuSMurthy  

All his fictional work was borne out of his conviction that for fiction to impact readers, it should be the soulful rendering of characters rooted in their native soil but not the hotchpotch of local and alien caricatures sketched on a hybrid canvas.

Christianity 101: A Simpler Way Forward is a title name change from The Christian Faith: A Quick Guide To Understanding Its Inter-Workings, which is the same book with a few minor changes.

When someone becomes a new Christian, there is a learning curve from knowing little about the subject to advancing into major teachings of the Christian faith. This is not to mention trying to understand the structure of the Bible—the handbook and guide for Christianity.

When someone first becomes a Christian, it can feel like you are in a maze, lost in all the information that comes one’s way through research and looking for a way forward in one’s newfound faith. I like to use the analogy that it's like starting to read from the middle of a good book, then trying to figure out the plot and who all the characters are and how they all relate to each other. Christianity 101 provides a way to start at the beginning and introduces to a novice the foundational building blocks of information, allowing someone to build their knowledge base starting from a place that will allow them to understand biblical concepts and principles, as they are interlinked to each other, providing a way forward that is understandable for most individuals to grasp.

To accomplish these types of goals, one needs to understand what the Bible is and how it is structured. Because it is the Bible that will provide all that is required to understand the Christian faith and all its complexities. Thus, Christianity 101 provides this type of information along with a chapter on church polity or how the local churches are structured and governed. In the end, Christianity 101: A Simpler Way Forward is a book that will become a useful resource to use in starting out in your newfound faith and provide useful information in guiding you out of the maze you're in, and onto a path which is more easily navigated along life’s journey.

I talk to a Christian that was caught in such a maze, confused over the issues of why there are so many kinds of churches and why everyone seems to believe different things, yet they all call themselves Christian. The question for them becomes who do I believe, and how do I weed out the falsehoods from the truth? The Baptist says this and the Methodist say that, and who are the Jehovah Witnesses? The confusion for this individual was great.

This is why Christianity 101 was written. To help provide guidance to those stuck in a maze looking for a way out. Christianity 101 does not make an attempt to teach you what everyone believes, but teaches you what the Bible teaches and how to find the answers you are looking for within the Scriptures. The Bible states that the Holy Spirit is your teacher for all those that have been “born again” (read John chapters 3, 14, and 16).

As a new Christian, do you know what a covenant is? Or what baptism or the Lord’s Table is all about? Do you understand the difference between the universal church and a local church? Do you know how the Bible came to be and how it is structured? I speak to all these questions and much more within the book Christianity 101.

So, perhaps you are tired of wandering about within your maze; let Christianity 101: A Simpler Way Forward guide you with biblical concepts, historical information or truth, that will help you establish a foundation that will guide you out of that maze and onto a path that the Holy Spirit can help you navigate.

On April 7th, 2022, Barry Donadio was recognized by the State of New York for his service in the N.Y. Army National Guard during the Cold War. The Adjutant General of the N.Y. Division of Military and Naval Affairs issued a Certificate of Recognition to Donadio 34 years after he joined the Army at the age of 17 .

Barry Donadio is a home grown New York Long Islander. He was born in Bay Shore, grew up in Oakdale and lived in Port Jefferson Station as a teenager. After attending Comsewogue high school, he served in various patriotic positions through out his career.

Those positions included serving in the N.Y. Army National Guard 42nd Infantry Division Scout Platoon located in Patchogue N.Y..

He then served in the 340th Military Police in Jamaica, Queens.

After that, he served at the 106th Security Police in Westhampton Beach, NY.. He led the Emergency Services Team there and was Sniper certified by the FBI and the Suffolk County Police.

Later, he took a position United States Secret Service at the White House. He made a name for himself while serving on the Secret Service Emergency Response Team (ERT) as one of the top marksman while he protected President Bush and President Obama on a daily basis.

Donadio qualified under the standards and criteria’s for obtaining New York’s Certificate of Recognition for Cold War Service during his service in the New York Army National Guard.

Upon receiving the medal Donadio stated;

“I would like to thank the Adjutant General and the Division of Military and Naval Affairs for recognizing me. I am truly honored to have served in the New York Army National Guard and protect to people of New York and the United States during the Cold War”

“I will always serve my native state of New York and its citizens.”

It is noteworthy that Donadio is a descendant of the original settlers of New Amsterdam (today’s New York) through his fraternal grandmother. Because of this reason, getting this medal from his home state of New York is very important to him and his family.

On March 30th the state of New York awarded Donadio “The Medal For Merit”

This is the second medal Barry Donadio has received after his military service.

On June 24th 2017, Donadio was awarded the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal. The medal was awarded 17 years after Donadio completed his military service. Congressman Andy Harris of Maryland presented the medal to Donadio in person.

Donadio will add to his credentials the newly awarded Certificate of Recognition and N.Y. Medal For Merit along with his already existing Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal, Air Force Commendation Medal, National Defense Medal, and four honorable discharges to name a few.

Since completing his military service and government service, Donadio has moved to Maryland and stayed active as an advocate for other veterans. He is a member of the Kent Island American Legion Post 278 and a lifetime member of the Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 7464 in Grasonville, Maryland.

#barrydonadio #medal #merit #newyork #state #airguard #military #2022 #ssgt #airman #westhampton #honorable #celebrity #historic #usaf #army #nationalguard #soldier #duty #service #police #secretservice #sniper #ert #obama #bush #whitehouse #president #agent #officer #ud #patchogue #army #scout #infantry #42ndinfantry #division #csc #infantry #scoutplatoon #private #armory

On April 7th, 2022, Barry Donadio was recognized by the State of New York for his service in the N.Y. Army National Guard during the Cold War. The Adjutant General of the N.Y. Division of Military and Naval Affairs issued a Certificate of Recognition to Donadio 34 years after he joined the Army at the age of 17 .

Barry Donadio is a home grown New York Long Islander. He was born in Bay Shore, grew up in Oakdale and lived in Port Jefferson Station as a teenager. After attending Comsewogue high school, he served in various patriotic positions through out his career.

Those positions included serving in the N.Y. Army National Guard 42nd Infantry Division Scout Platoon located in Patchogue N.Y..

He then served in the 340th Military Police in Jamaica, Queens.

After that, he served at the 106th Security Police in Westhampton Beach, NY.. He led the Emergency Services Team there and was Sniper certified by the FBI and the Suffolk County Police.

Later, he took a position United States Secret Service at the White House. He made a name for himself while serving on the Secret Service Emergency Response Team (ERT) as one of the top marksman while he protected President Bush and President Obama on a daily basis.

Donadio qualified under the standards and criteria’s for obtaining New York’s Certificate of Recognition for Cold War Service during his service in the New York Army National Guard.

Upon receiving the medal Donadio stated;

“I would like to thank the Adjutant General and the Division of Military and Naval Affairs for recognizing me. I am truly honored to have served in the New York Army National Guard and protect to people of New York and the United States during the Cold War”

“I will always serve my native state of New York and its citizens.”

It is noteworthy that Donadio is a descendant of the original settlers of New Amsterdam (today’s New York) through his fraternal grandmother. Because of this reason, getting this medal from his home state of New York is very important to him and his family.

On March 30th the state of New York awarded Donadio “The Medal For Merit”

This is the second medal Barry Donadio has received after his military service.

On June 24th 2017, Donadio was awarded the Global War on Terrorism Service Medal. The medal was awarded 17 years after Donadio completed his military service. Congressman Andy Harris of Maryland presented the medal to Donadio in person.

Donadio will add to his credentials the newly awarded Certificate of Recognition and N.Y. Medal For Merit along with his already existing Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal, Air Force Commendation Medal, National Defense Medal, and four honorable discharges to name a few.

Since completing his military service and government service, Donadio has moved to Maryland and stayed active as an advocate for other veterans. He is a member of the Kent Island American Legion Post 278 and a lifetime member of the Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 7464 in Grasonville, Maryland.

#barrydonadio #medal #merit #newyork #state #airguard #military #2022 #ssgt #airman #westhampton #honorable #celebrity #historic #usaf #army #nationalguard #soldier #duty #service #police #secretservice #sniper #ert #obama #bush #whitehouse #president #agent #officer #ud #patchogue #army #scout #infantry #42ndinfantry #division #csc #infantry #scoutplatoon #private #armory

We are all on a life journey to the self. We all don’t realize this but we all are trying to understand who God is.

I am not a scholar on religion or philosophy but I feel that my life journey to understanding myself meant that I had to understand my reflection that I believe is all good and 100% love that unconditionally loves me back. This is a never-ending journey we are on because we all are here to experience being in love. 

I believed in the Bible. Let me clarify because I believe the Bible is a source that tells us about the self and the self’s journey. The self is the collective whole. It is all of us. When we see ourselves, we see ourselves outside of the individual self. We only see our image. When we see God in our image, we see what is good in all things because God created everything and everyone. As His image, we understand that I am you. Religion is not God. Religion is a path that moulds our individual identities. We still have to figure out who God is; who is in all of us, in all the paths that are seeking God or the Promised Land that is perfect and whole.

The Garden of Eden

Where is Israel?

We are ONE brain, therefore we need to understand that we all have different paths that got us to this place. Israel is all our journeys that unite in love because we unconditionally love one another — We are ONE with God. It is us who define Him in one another. We become balanced — We become ONE within the self.

We cannot deny our journey to how we got here because we all needed this journey through darkness to reveal to our individual selves the mystery and awe of God. Now that we know how to get to this place, we can help each other also find it.

I’ve learned from adversity. I can be thankful for challenges because not losing faith in Him made me a stronger person. I did not intend to have a website, a book, and a mission like this one. Twenty-five years ago, did I think that I would be thinking like this? Of course not! I am just like everybody else. I am also on that road, the same as you. I am just trying to survive here. I desire pleasure just like we all do.

When I am nothing, I realize, now, that I become everything — I become you. This is because I believe in God who is in everything, I am becoming everything. The woman is the image of the man. The woman is in the man. The woman is the physical, feminine, energy that can be either good or evil. If the woman loves God in heaven then she brings the masculine, spiritual, energy down here on earth. 

Energy is spiritual that is reflected in the physical. Masculine energy is unconditional love and feminine energy chooses to be unconditional love. Humanity is all feminine because we all have the choice to love. Love is the heart. The heart is faith. It is nurturing. It loves.

We are here to choose love and be love.

Our brain is good because it is very rational. It trusts the path that we are on, but our heart loves blindly. Love is who we are, first, and then we see the path that will show us the way.

Helping people believe in good is healing. We are here to find ourselves but we find our self in the image of the other. If we believe we all were created by a good God then we only see good. We see God in the other. 

We need to see God in the other to heal the self. We need to understand that we are good. We are the image of God.

This is a very deep Messianic concept that, for now, is rejected. Darkness is oppressing the truth that we are love. It is the darkness we all have to fight within the individual self to finally be free, to just be — To be in the Promised Land. It is the ego that does not believe that we are good. It does not believe its image is good.

We close the door because we make excuses about trying to understand a concept of oneness which means we have to get over our negativity toward others instead of understanding that negativity is here because it exists in the individual self — The truth is that negativity isn’t real because it is not truth, so we need to stop believing in it.

Help me shine God’s light of love and truth to the world. Desire for us to be healed. Desire for us to be one. 

I am oppressed by the darkness that does not want the world to know this secret that will free us all from our dysfunction of being unbalanced between physicality and spirituality. We are here to be healed. We are here to be balanced. 

We are here to be love. When we believe in love we become love. 

Help me help you. 

From my heart to yours,

Shannie

Gratitude is an emotion we feel when we start appreciating all that we have in our lives and are thankful for them. It can be as big as getting a promotion or as small as enjoying a full moon night; maybe even simple as relishing a delicious pastry or an icecream. People often feel they are living very ordinary lives and there is nothing to be grateful for. Come to think of it, if we look at our daily routine lives and compare it with the highly valued materialistic things which we don’t have, then it does give us a feeling that there is nothing to be grateful for. But that’s where we are wrong and we need to change our perspective about life.

Ultimately all of us humans want to be happy. It doesn’t matter where it comes from. What matters in fact is our state of mind which should be in a state of emotional well-being and positivity always. But if we focus our attention on the materialistic side of things then we can’t live in this consistent state of emotional well-being. This is because the amount of materialistic things differ in everyone’s lives. Some have more wealth while others have less. Again that doesn’t mean that the wealthiest are the most happy and the poorest or less materialistically endowed are the saddest. The reason behind this can be unearthed from this meaningful quote which goes, “It is not happiness that makes us grateful, rather it is gratitude that makes us happy.” This is a very important philosophy that we must take note because herein lies the secret of our happiness.

When we are grateful in whatever stage of life we are in, there is a great shift in our consciousness. We view things in a different light. Our mood changes for the better. The state of negativity and despondency changes to a more positive and optimistic outlook. Instead of thinking what a dull rainy day it is today, you change your perspective and stand near your window to see how fresh and clean the earth looks. Or simply enjoy the sound of the rain that can be relaxing and have a therapeutic effect on you. Maybe you can use that day to spend indoors to read a book or paint and sip some warm coffee. Maybe it feels more peaceful to do an assignment indoors with the soothing hum of the rain instead of facing the heavy rush of traffic or hurly burly of the outside world. You may tend to feel more inspired and creative on those rainy days and paint out that beautiful scenery, knit a muffler or maybe finish writing your article. Immediately your perspective changes. Another situation wherein you might have forgotten your door keys and have to wait for your spouse to return from his office. So instead of being frustrated waiting, you could go out for a walk and at the end of it you realise that the exercise helped  you feel more refreshed after a tiring day at the office. Or maybe you caught up with your neighbour and treated her to a cup of coffee, thereby connecting with her after ages. So either way you feel better about things.

Even on the days we are sick, maybe at that time we may have felt low or depressed. But it is during those times that we stop taking our health for granted. It makes us appreciate our health even more and we tend to take better care of it. I remember last month I was out of internet for almost a week. After a while as I gave up fuming about it and went on with my work, I realised it was a gift for me instead. Because that kept me out of social media like facebook or checking out entertaining videos on YouTube and I was busy learning my technical tutorials. The challenge I face with my technical tutorials is that as soon as they get tedious or a little hard to understand, I switch to facebook or YouTube for temporary relief. Thus lack of internet access helped me focus better and boosted my productivity. I finished my project earlier than the stipulated time. Of course I had scheduled the work which needed internet access for the evening hours when my husband returned and I could use his wi-fi hotspot. Recently my internet has been very fast and that too was provided with unlimited access due to a recent scheme by a telecom company. I have never been so appreciative!

Sometimes of course it is a real struggle to be grateful when you are having a difficult time in your life – maybe you are suffering from a serious illness or at other times you might be going through a destructive relationship. But a lot of real life stories have shown that it is actually the hard times that make people more grateful about their struggles, which has in turn bestowed them a hidden gift in some form or the other. More often people who have faced harder times are the ones more appreciative about life and have become more successful in their relationships or careers.

Gratitude is also believed to activate the law of attraction in our lives. People all over the world have reported that more they have been grateful, more has been the abundance in their lives. It is believed that when we are grateful we focus our energies on the positives in our lives, that in turn gives the universe the sign that that is what we want and helps making our desires manifest. On the other hand when we are negative and grumpy we are focused on the negative aspects in our lives and that is the message we send to the universe. Thus our life becomes a downward spiral from then on.

The universe understands your emotions, not your words or your wants. If you want something badly, but your emotion is that it is difficult to achieve, then that is what you will get – which is the lack of success and only the feeling of want. But if on the other hand you are confident that whatever you ask will come to you, the universe senses this feeling of confidence and abundance in you. And it is this abundance that will fill your life. Be grateful that the best has happened in your life and in turn the universe will sense this assurance you have about life and give you more.

‘Ask and you will receive,’ is a popular bible quote. It simply is nothing but the law of attraction. But then for this to work, you have to ask with a sense of gratitude that the universe will deliver it for you and it will definitely come to pass. Even if something bad happens, think of it as a temporary struggle and try to view it as a hidden gift because that is what it is. I have had my low phases in life but I feel it has been a hidden gift to me because it is what made me a better writer and I could touch on emotional aspects that afflicted many other people too. It made me feel and write better about the emotions of my characters in my stories. It made me research for resources and articles to make myself  happy and once I found it, I found ways to be at peace with myself as well as understand my relations with my closest ones better. It also gave me confidence to be my best friend the times when people were not around. In other words it made me less whiny and a more self-assured person instead.

Even during the times you are upset with your family  members or your friends, think of the times they have done something nice for you or have been there for you. It will remove that anger and release you from those pent up feelings. It will usher in emotional freedom by making you feel unchained and a lot lighter.

So what do we do to enforce this feeling of gratitude in our lives? Keep a journal and write three to five things you are grateful for. Gratitude journaling has been reported to bring down our stress levels and make us more calmer. See that whatever you write is not automated and repetitive. Don’t write for the sake of writing. Instead feel the emotion while writing it. Or if you feel pressured, just write one thing in detail and feel the appreciation while writing it. Write small things like your sister’s phone call which always gives that close chummy feeling and a feeling of security that you can reach for her at any time of your life. Otherwise you can mention about something that touched you like the new self-help book you are reading that gave you an insight into something that was bothering you. Or maybe simply relish the feeling of freedom that you have the money to buy a book of your choice whenever you want to. During your difficult days when you turn back the pages of your gratitude journal and re-read it, you will feel more appreciative in your period of reflection and realise there is so much to be thankful for.

It is said that writing makes us calmer and centred as we unclutter our thoughts on paper. It increases our sense of objectivity as we stop agonising over a problem and start seeing it from another’s point of view or a third person. It’s like your friend whom you can spill your thoughts to or talk your heart out. Hence there is a feeling of being released and understood. Since you are talking to yourself, you connect more with the inner you and it gives you more insight into your thoughts. Thus it helps to promote self-growth. It makes you more mindful and aware as you pour your thoughts on paper. Your mind stops to wander and makes you more ‘present’ in that moment. As the past frustrations and irritations peel off, you feel less loaded and it reduces the intensity of your anger, pain or sadness. It makes you more centred and calm. It helps to organise your thoughts better and gives you more clarity on your emotions. It makes you more intuitive and creative as it activates the right side of your brain.

When you write about the things you are grateful for it will fortify your sense of gratitude even more. It heals you emotionally and makes you feel relaxed. It gets you more creative as a downstream of positive thoughts engulf your mind and spirit. As you remove all obstacles, your connection with the universe gets more enhanced and unadulterated. The universe is talking to you even more through its unhindered channel and pouring out its abundance to you as you live everyday with a sense of wonder and gratitude.

Being happy is not about temporary thrills, pleasurable pursuits, exciting events, winning prizes or living a luxurious lifestyle. It is not even about making a lot of money, achieving fame, being the best looking or the smartest. Because the richest, the famous, the best looking or the smartest can still be the most depressed  people on earth. Being happy in reality is actually a matter of lifestyle. It can be found amongst the most ordinary lives as anyone on this earth can be happy if they want to be. It is not a matter of position or possession but simply a state of mind manifested from the kind of lifestyle we lead.

So what lifestyle changes should we make to be in a good mood everyday of our lives? What can one do so that a general state of positivity and good feeling is our way of life? Of course, this doesn’t mean we will not have our bad days and failures or go through situations that can make us feel temporarily defeated. But how do we bounce back out of it quickly and live in a state of positivity and confidence that things will surely turn in our favour? How to be in a happy mood on a very ordinary day and love each moment of our routine life? We can aim for our goals only when we have a strong positive mindset, don’t we? So how do we do that? For that we have to adopt a lifestyle that embraces activities and programmes that promote happiness.

1. Exercise is known to be a great mood booster as it releases endorphins that helps alleviate our mood. So, if you make it a habit to exercise everyday then it can help you in beating stress and annihilate the heaviness that might clutter your way of thinking. It will aid in keeping you in a lighter and happier mood while going about your daily business every day. Regular exercise will also keep you fit and give you a sense of achievement where your physique is concerned. If you dislike the gym you can opt to do something more suited to your interests and personality such as dancing, yoga or any other fun sport like tennis, badminton, basketball etc. The friends and acquaintances you meet at the gym or club will also give you a sense of belonging and companionship as your goals and passions will be more in line with them.
   
   
2. Meditation is a must if you want to live a happy life. Meditation calms any kind of turmoil that you might be feeling inside or any problem that might tend to make you restless. It soothes the mind and helps eliminate negative thoughts that might haunt you and bring you down on a daily basis. You will feel a sense of calm and see your problems more logically – in other words with a sense of wisdom. The practice of meditation helps shed more light on the problems you are facing and analyse them better. You tend to gain clarity over them and achieve peace of mind. It develops your intuition better and helps you find more rational solutions to them. You will find yourself feeling less and less bitter as it increases your emotional stability. A feeling of relaxation tends to pervade in your everyday life. It helps increase your creativity too. It reduces the restlessness inside by stabilizing your thoughts and helps you gain more focus in your work. It expands your consciousness and you tend to view things from a greater perspective than before. All in all it gives you a greater sense of wisdom.
   
   
3. Drink water. Water keeps you hydrated and less cranky.
   
   
4. Start keeping a journal. Write down your problems. It helps empty out that clutter clogging your mind and makes you feel lighter as if you have removed a major weight from your shoulders. It releases pent-up feelings and emotions. Once you write down your feelings, it gives you a better perspective of the agitation you are feeling inside by gaining more clarity. It helps you sort out your feelings better by disentangling them, processing them and relating them more logically with outer events. You see your problems more maturely as an outsider and thereby easily find solutions for them. You find your worries less overwhelming and easy to let go. It helps balance your mind and increase emotional stability. It soothes your troubled mind by allowing you to counsel yourself. It helps in healing yourself and thereby bringing in harmony to your life.

5. Try to live in the present. The more you live in the present the better you will feel everyday of your life. Needless worrying about the future and dwelling in the past is a great mood killer. Live in the philosophy that the past has been done and gone. The lesson learnt will pay richly all your life. And even if you feel there was no lesson then there is no point dwelling in it. Expect that whatever will happen in future will only be for your best. Believe in that higher source that there is a greater, grander design for you and only the best will follow.
   
   
6. Strive to embrace a broader view of things. Try to forgive others and let go. The more we hold on to a grudge, more does it make us a bitter and an angrier person. It will make us even more low and dismal. It will make us unhappier than the other person we are angry about. The more we let go, the lighter will be our state of mind and overall mood. Understand that when a person is negative with you then most likely that is how the person’s basic nature is. He or she, in general, carries that attitude in life and behaves the same with all others too. Just forgive and forget. This doesn’t mean you have to be very friendly with that person and blindly believe in them again. But be wiser by releasing the anger, keeping a distance from that person and being more cautious next time.
   
   
7. If somebody doesn’t live up to your expectations, then try to see things from their point of view from time to time. Maybe that person was having a bad day and hence didn’t notice you or pay you any attention. Maybe your friend had a major disagreement with his colleague at office and so was somewhat snappy with you.
   
   
8. Be a kinder and a helpful person. This really helps in building up more happy hormones in you. When we help others, notice that we feel much better and lighter after that act of kindness. If we resolve to do something kind every day, then our life in general will be a very positive one.
   
   
9. Develop a hobby especially a creative one like painting, sketching, pottery and craftwork. It will keep you totally immersed in the creative process and after an hour or so you will feel so much better and happier.
   
   
10. Strive to be as emotionally independent and self reliant as possible. Because there maybe times you won’t find anyone around when you are low or depressed. People are quite caught up with their own lives and rarely you will find people generous to lend time to you out of their own challenging busy lives. So be your best friend always. Don’t have expectations from others even if he or she is your best friend or your sibling. People keep changing as per the situations in life. Everyone is on their own growth path and might make mistakes in their journey of life. It’s part of being human. So don’t have expectations however much you have done for them. Expectations only ruin relationships. Give and forget. As the Bible says, when you do charity, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. This age-old philosophy will always keep you mentally strong, emotionally independent and happy. It will help you achieve emotional balance as your feelings or mood will not depend on any external factors. You will be the sole owner of your own happiness. So be passionate about your own stuff that is your work, your hobbies, your fitness activities and other practices such as yoga, meditation etc. This will keep your mind always involved, busy and happy. It will steer you away from those negative monkey thoughts that are the root cause of unhappiness and a bad mood.
    
    
11. Live in confidence always that whatever challenges or goals you have, there is always a higher source, or the universe if you’d like to call it, to help you and guide you to achieve your dreams. Wishes are prayers that are bound to come true if we have enough faith in ourselves and that higher source.
    
    
12. Never feel superior or inferior to anyone. Each of us is born with special talents and gifts. Be confident in your talents but appreciate what you don’t have in others. This will give you a balanced feeling about how you perceive yourself and others.

History repeats itself and Plato about Arts

History repeats itself. And people forget about history. There is no easy fix   It is easy to think that wars are in the past, that society has changed and it will never happen again. As memory fades, Gaia’s events from the past can become events of the present. The more things change, the more they stay the same. What we are seeing is that ‘digital’ acts as a magnifier, and accelerator. The problem is still the same. The isolation of East and West, North and South. Wealth inequality is a social and civic conversations that is not new but that has been catalysed through digital media.

Manuscript from the 300 AC, containing fragments of Plato's Republic.

Plato in the Republic rejects any form of illusionism in art. He calls it mimesis or ‘imitation’. This has also created a question what is the Greek word “mimesis”? And why does this matter?

I’ve been reading romantic stories since childhood: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, etc. I started on the ubiquitous Harlequin romances in the 1970s. By the time I was fourteen, I’d figured out the formula for a successful romance novel: boy meets girl; boy and girl hate each other; boy manhandles girl; girl falls in love with boy; boy and girl get married and live happily ever after.

I wasn’t sure that was an improvement upon the damsel-in-distress scenario featured in fairytales and mythology.

In the 1980s, heroines in romance novels began to grow up. They no longer aspired to grand career goals of serving as underpaid nannies to wealthy widowers. They acquired post-secondary educations and found professional employment. I’ve seen few romances about women in the skilled trades, but doctors, lawyers, and business owners seemed an improvement over uneducated 18-year-old girls who needed a rich man either to restore them to a lifestyle they once enjoyed before their daddies went bankrupt or to lift them from the lives of poverty into which they’d been born. These heroines might not have been obscenely affluent, but they held their own in a man’s world. These heroines served as role models of women who got it all: a great career, husbands devoted to them, and, presumably, two-point-five children and a dog.

Heroes began to evolve, too. Not much, because women continue to enjoy the fantasy of an alpha male who’s successful, confident, and skilled in the bedroom. But those heroes began to see women as competent, intelligent adults, not just soft, warm receptacles for their lust to be used once and discarded like toilet paper.

Over the last ten to fifteen years, romance has been backsliding. Sure, the Cinderella story remains popular. It always will. My own books take full advantage of that. But somewhere along the line, up and coming authors began to subscribe to old archetypes and to create new ones that really don’t flatter their own gender:

●       The ingénue. This is the innocent, young virgin, usually poverty-stricken, who hasn’t gone beyond high school and is sweet enough to rot every tooth in a reader’s head.

●       The party girl. This is the shallow, promiscuous young woman who thinks one night stands carry no consequences, is often too fascinated by pricey, name-brand shoes or coffee, and lives with roommates who are also giddy, squealing, fashion-obsessed dimwits.

●       Cinderella. This standard character harkens back to the original. She’s hardworking, employed in a menial job for which she is ostensibly overqualified, and either in college or recently graduated with a degree.

There are, of course, variations on the romance heroine tropes, but professional, competent, and intelligent heroines have become scarce. I find that worrisome enough.

Adding to the disappointment are today’s popular heroes. They’re tall, handsome, wealthy, and confident. They go beyond confidence into arrogance. These guys don’t walk into a room, they swagger. They’re unrepentant womanizers and most enjoy having a different woman in their beds every night. The willingness of women to join the vast, lust-riddled hordes that parade through their bedrooms invites contempt toward the entire gender. These heroes fall into standard slots: CEO, biker, fighter, elite military warrior (pick your preferred military branch), cowboy/rancher.

So, there they go, working hard and enjoying the vast variety of female flesh happily presenting itself for their entertainment when--boom!--our heroine appears. She either needs rescuing from danger or poverty, or she’s his administrative assistant (secretary), or he kidnaps her because he wants her and he always takes what he wants.

What a jerk.

Of course, our heroine is so overcome by her raging hormones that she succumbs to his blandishments, thrills in the liberties he takes, and loves that he doesn’t take “No” for an answer.

In the real world, we call this sexual assault and rape.

But wait, there’s more! Let’s go further into the sub-genre of “dark” romance with its descent into the world of BDSM. Yes, we all know who’s dominant and who’s submissive, don’t we? We know who’s obeying whose orders and who gets punished for disobedience, don’t we? And, oh, it’s so sexy that he gets to tie up our heroine and strike or whip her, leaving welts and bruises on her skin.

In the real world, we call that abuse.

Now let’s compound this with recognition of the people--mainly women--who write this stuff. The days of Nora Roberts, Danielle Steele, and Jayne Ann Krentz are far from over--they’re still pumping out novels. But a new generation of authors cranks out an overwhelming number of romance novels that negate the progress women have made over the last fifty years. These writers are women in their twenties and early thirties who don’t remember being denied an opportunity because she was cursed with that second X chromosome. These are women who don’t recognize the term “Women’s Lib.” These are women who romanticize and glorify Stockholm Syndrome in their abduction fantasies and send their heroines back a couple hundred of years when women were chattel. Yet these heroines are content to be treated like chattel, as long as their heroes settle them into lives of luxury and pamper them like prize poodles.

These authors offer their young, impressionable audience heroines that exhibit traits we’d hate to see in our own daughters: unjustified obstinacy, terminal stupidity, promiscuity, shallowness, and an abject acceptance of poor treatment from their heroes because a heady orgasm makes everything okay.

I write romance. I’ve even written heroes who aren’t nice guys. I wrote an abduction romance. But my heroine was clever enough to escape his clutches and evade recapture for years while my hero suffered greatly for his hubris. (Credit that to an early influence of Greek mythology.)  My heroines may be underemployed and occasionally pigheaded, but they aren’t too stupid to live. These characters have human flaws and a level of self-respect lacking in too many of today’s heroines. They’re people you wouldn’t be ashamed to introduce to your family.

So, if you’re a woman of Generations Y or Z, what message do you want to send to yourself and to the young women born in the following generation? One that shows women as helpless, stupid, and enslaved by their hormones? Or one that shows independence, self-respect, and a happily ever after because she wants to be with the hero, not because she depends upon him for her existence?

Romance is the only genre that’s mainly written by women for women and which validates women’s happiness and fulfillment. It should inspire us to become better, not reduce us to weak-minded chattel.

Introduction 

It is almost impossible to make somebody believe in something they cannot perceive. For this reason, we cannot blame anybody for not believing in spirit or an invisible God. This brings us to an extremely important question. What is the reason for so many people rejecting the Bible? Is the Bible no more relevant, or is it simply the way that dogmatic religion transformed a book of spiritual science, into a history and storybook? Do science and religion meet, and if they do, where is the missing link? In this book, we will learn that there is a link that clearly connects science and religion and that there is much more to the Bible’s mysteries than people ever imagined. 

If I had to tell you, that Adam never was the first human on earth, would you believe me? Not only was he not the first human on earth, but he never was a physical human being. You might also find it hard to believe, that Jesus never was a physical human being either. We will also learn, that God does not live in space and that no god will physically come on the clouds to destroy the earth. After reading this book, we will have a clear understanding of what Jesus is, and we will see, that there were two Adams. The first Adam was earthy, and the second Adam was from heaven. As a matter of fact, the second Adam was a spiritually enlightened being, and the Lord from heaven. We will also learn, that there never was a Jesus that was physically crucified. The recording of our creation in Genesis was not a recording of our physical universe, and that evolution and the creation in Genesis perfectly connect. If we do not understand the physical creation the way scientists and Darwin explained it by evolution; the creation in the Bible will not make any sense at all. If you do not believe in evolution, and you believe that the creation in Genesis was a recording of our physical creation; ask yourself this question: What is the reason for believing in what you believe in? Is it simply because you want to believe what the masses believe in? Do the Bible and all its teachings, honestly make sense to you? According to you; does the Bible contradict itself, or does it not? We have to remember, that God is Light; and if we do not understand something, we are in darkness. In this book, we will compare contradiction texts. And we will see, that everything makes perfect sense; from Genesis to Revelation; when we understand the codes, in which the Bible was written.

Surgery did one thing for sure: It took me down. I was forced to rest, which was a good thing. Good, but not always easy for a type A personality like me. I work hard, and I play hard. I’ve now learned to rest as well. In athletics, there is an intensity-to-recovery ratio. The more intense your workout, the more recovery is required. Think of surgery as an extreme workout for your body, mind, and emotions.

If I’m honest with myself, life before my hysterectomy was lived at 180 miles per hour. I have since learned that a balanced life requires-even demands-rest and recovery on a daily basis. I cannot wait for an annual vacation to take a break. I require timeouts on a quarterly, monthly, weekly, and daily basis. This is where I take time to tune out the world and relax, play, and release the stress of everyday life. It is a time to rest, recover, reflect, and bring my life back into balance. I had to learn to make this a regular aspect of my healthy lifestyle, not a quick fix. When my body is tired and my spirit weary, the best thing I can do is rest.

Signs that would indicate you may not be recovering from surgery or that surgical menopause is taking a toll on you include:

• Difficulty waking up in the morning.
• Requiring more stimulants (caffeine, sugar) to keep going.
• Utilizing alcohol, sleeping pills, or other substances to wind down or fall asleep.
• Exhibiting a shorter fuse than normal, especially with loved ones.
• Lack of focus, creativity, or productivity.

To become more aware of what areas of life might need some extra attention, you can ask yourself the following questions.

• “Am I fueling my body with the proper nutrients?”
• “Am I sleeping enough? Do I require a nap?”
• “When was the last time I had a date night? Family day? Time with a friend?”
• “When was the last time I got lost in a good book or a movie?”
• “Can I give myself a creative outlet through writing, music, dance or art?”
• “Do I need to unplug from the computer, phone, or social media?”
• “Have I taken a day, weekend, or week off lately?”
• “Are my vacations becoming staycations, where I work so hard around the house that I have to go back to work to rest?”
• “Have I rejuvenated at the beach, by the lake or an ocean, in the mountains, or elsewhere in nature?”
• “When was the last time I laughed?”
• “Is my schedule too full? Where can I build in rest and recovery?”

If you find yourself less focused, creative, friendly, or productive, as I did, it may benefit you to slow down or take a break. As our intensity-to-recovery ratio improves, we are better able to come back stronger, more creative, productive, and refreshed, and with renewed energy and excitement. We have more passion for our career, relationships, and life in general. We’ll find we are balanced through the transition of menopause.

It may seem odd to talk about menopause bringing gifts. But as someone who’s been there, I can look back and realize it does.

I believe perspective plays a huge role in how we enter menopause, regardless of whether it is natural or surgically induced, as well as in how quickly we heal.

Think back to when you first got your period. What was your perspective? Did you view it as an honor as you stepped into womanhood, like my friend Susan? Or were you more like my friend Stephanie, who viewed it as terribly embarrassing—always having accidents and not being able to go in the water at the beach for fear of bleeding through? For me, I understood that getting my period made me a woman and enabled me to have children. With my young naïve mind, I thought that the day I got my period I would become pregnant. Silly? Or the power of a child’s brain who takes things literally?

What is your perspective on menopause? Is it a time of distress and discomfort? A signal of aging? Do you fear the best years are behind you? Are you focused completely on your symptoms? Or do you see this transition as a rite of passage and a time to discover or rediscover your power, purpose, passion, and authenticity?

I love that the Chinese refer to menopause as the second spring. They consider it a time to reflect on life and turn our focus inward to nurture ourselves. That rings true for me, as this season of my life already has had an ongoing theme of self-love, self-care, and self-reflection.

Just like surgery may have benefits of alleviating pain or risk of disease, menopause can be a wonderful transition with positive side effects such as:

• No more periods, cramping, tampons, or pads.
• We can finally wear white pants again, any time of the month.
• We can enjoy sex without risk of pregnancy.
• We may have greater confidence and self-assuredness.
• We don’t have to schedule our sex lives, athletics, or vacations around our periods.

After my surgery, it took time for my body to heal physically. It took even longer for my mind and emotional health to stabilize.

There were times when I felt broken. I had to constantly remind myself that I was in a state of healing and change. Even though I felt broken, I told myself that I was whole, strong, and valuable.

Surgery and surgical menopause can be both frustrating and exhausting. The last thing we need to do is to beat ourselves up. And isn’t that one of our greatest strengths as women? We think we should heal faster, we shouldn’t cry for no reason, and we should be able to do it all… even right after a surgery. The only thing we need to do is cut ourselves some slack and remind ourselves that this too shall pass.

That’s a perspective I can embrace.