Gratitude is an emotion we feel when we start appreciating all that we have in our lives and are thankful for them. It can be as big as getting a promotion or as small as enjoying a full moon night; maybe even simple as relishing a delicious pastry or an icecream. People often feel they are living very ordinary lives and there is nothing to be grateful for. Come to think of it, if we look at our daily routine lives and compare it with the highly valued materialistic things which we don’t have, then it does give us a feeling that there is nothing to be grateful for. But that’s where we are wrong and we need to change our perspective about life.

Ultimately all of us humans want to be happy. It doesn’t matter where it comes from. What matters in fact is our state of mind which should be in a state of emotional well-being and positivity always. But if we focus our attention on the materialistic side of things then we can’t live in this consistent state of emotional well-being. This is because the amount of materialistic things differ in everyone’s lives. Some have more wealth while others have less. Again that doesn’t mean that the wealthiest are the most happy and the poorest or less materialistically endowed are the saddest. The reason behind this can be unearthed from this meaningful quote which goes, “It is not happiness that makes us grateful, rather it is gratitude that makes us happy.” This is a very important philosophy that we must take note because herein lies the secret of our happiness.

When we are grateful in whatever stage of life we are in, there is a great shift in our consciousness. We view things in a different light. Our mood changes for the better. The state of negativity and despondency changes to a more positive and optimistic outlook. Instead of thinking what a dull rainy day it is today, you change your perspective and stand near your window to see how fresh and clean the earth looks. Or simply enjoy the sound of the rain that can be relaxing and have a therapeutic effect on you. Maybe you can use that day to spend indoors to read a book or paint and sip some warm coffee. Maybe it feels more peaceful to do an assignment indoors with the soothing hum of the rain instead of facing the heavy rush of traffic or hurly burly of the outside world. You may tend to feel more inspired and creative on those rainy days and paint out that beautiful scenery, knit a muffler or maybe finish writing your article. Immediately your perspective changes. Another situation wherein you might have forgotten your door keys and have to wait for your spouse to return from his office. So instead of being frustrated waiting, you could go out for a walk and at the end of it you realise that the exercise helped  you feel more refreshed after a tiring day at the office. Or maybe you caught up with your neighbour and treated her to a cup of coffee, thereby connecting with her after ages. So either way you feel better about things.

Even on the days we are sick, maybe at that time we may have felt low or depressed. But it is during those times that we stop taking our health for granted. It makes us appreciate our health even more and we tend to take better care of it. I remember last month I was out of internet for almost a week. After a while as I gave up fuming about it and went on with my work, I realised it was a gift for me instead. Because that kept me out of social media like facebook or checking out entertaining videos on YouTube and I was busy learning my technical tutorials. The challenge I face with my technical tutorials is that as soon as they get tedious or a little hard to understand, I switch to facebook or YouTube for temporary relief. Thus lack of internet access helped me focus better and boosted my productivity. I finished my project earlier than the stipulated time. Of course I had scheduled the work which needed internet access for the evening hours when my husband returned and I could use his wi-fi hotspot. Recently my internet has been very fast and that too was provided with unlimited access due to a recent scheme by a telecom company. I have never been so appreciative!

Sometimes of course it is a real struggle to be grateful when you are having a difficult time in your life – maybe you are suffering from a serious illness or at other times you might be going through a destructive relationship. But a lot of real life stories have shown that it is actually the hard times that make people more grateful about their struggles, which has in turn bestowed them a hidden gift in some form or the other. More often people who have faced harder times are the ones more appreciative about life and have become more successful in their relationships or careers.

Gratitude is also believed to activate the law of attraction in our lives. People all over the world have reported that more they have been grateful, more has been the abundance in their lives. It is believed that when we are grateful we focus our energies on the positives in our lives, that in turn gives the universe the sign that that is what we want and helps making our desires manifest. On the other hand when we are negative and grumpy we are focused on the negative aspects in our lives and that is the message we send to the universe. Thus our life becomes a downward spiral from then on.

The universe understands your emotions, not your words or your wants. If you want something badly, but your emotion is that it is difficult to achieve, then that is what you will get – which is the lack of success and only the feeling of want. But if on the other hand you are confident that whatever you ask will come to you, the universe senses this feeling of confidence and abundance in you. And it is this abundance that will fill your life. Be grateful that the best has happened in your life and in turn the universe will sense this assurance you have about life and give you more.

‘Ask and you will receive,’ is a popular bible quote. It simply is nothing but the law of attraction. But then for this to work, you have to ask with a sense of gratitude that the universe will deliver it for you and it will definitely come to pass. Even if something bad happens, think of it as a temporary struggle and try to view it as a hidden gift because that is what it is. I have had my low phases in life but I feel it has been a hidden gift to me because it is what made me a better writer and I could touch on emotional aspects that afflicted many other people too. It made me feel and write better about the emotions of my characters in my stories. It made me research for resources and articles to make myself  happy and once I found it, I found ways to be at peace with myself as well as understand my relations with my closest ones better. It also gave me confidence to be my best friend the times when people were not around. In other words it made me less whiny and a more self-assured person instead.

Even during the times you are upset with your family  members or your friends, think of the times they have done something nice for you or have been there for you. It will remove that anger and release you from those pent up feelings. It will usher in emotional freedom by making you feel unchained and a lot lighter.

So what do we do to enforce this feeling of gratitude in our lives? Keep a journal and write three to five things you are grateful for. Gratitude journaling has been reported to bring down our stress levels and make us more calmer. See that whatever you write is not automated and repetitive. Don’t write for the sake of writing. Instead feel the emotion while writing it. Or if you feel pressured, just write one thing in detail and feel the appreciation while writing it. Write small things like your sister’s phone call which always gives that close chummy feeling and a feeling of security that you can reach for her at any time of your life. Otherwise you can mention about something that touched you like the new self-help book you are reading that gave you an insight into something that was bothering you. Or maybe simply relish the feeling of freedom that you have the money to buy a book of your choice whenever you want to. During your difficult days when you turn back the pages of your gratitude journal and re-read it, you will feel more appreciative in your period of reflection and realise there is so much to be thankful for.

It is said that writing makes us calmer and centred as we unclutter our thoughts on paper. It increases our sense of objectivity as we stop agonising over a problem and start seeing it from another’s point of view or a third person. It’s like your friend whom you can spill your thoughts to or talk your heart out. Hence there is a feeling of being released and understood. Since you are talking to yourself, you connect more with the inner you and it gives you more insight into your thoughts. Thus it helps to promote self-growth. It makes you more mindful and aware as you pour your thoughts on paper. Your mind stops to wander and makes you more ‘present’ in that moment. As the past frustrations and irritations peel off, you feel less loaded and it reduces the intensity of your anger, pain or sadness. It makes you more centred and calm. It helps to organise your thoughts better and gives you more clarity on your emotions. It makes you more intuitive and creative as it activates the right side of your brain.

When you write about the things you are grateful for it will fortify your sense of gratitude even more. It heals you emotionally and makes you feel relaxed. It gets you more creative as a downstream of positive thoughts engulf your mind and spirit. As you remove all obstacles, your connection with the universe gets more enhanced and unadulterated. The universe is talking to you even more through its unhindered channel and pouring out its abundance to you as you live everyday with a sense of wonder and gratitude.

Being happy is not about temporary thrills, pleasurable pursuits, exciting events, winning prizes or living a luxurious lifestyle. It is not even about making a lot of money, achieving fame, being the best looking or the smartest. Because the richest, the famous, the best looking or the smartest can still be the most depressed  people on earth. Being happy in reality is actually a matter of lifestyle. It can be found amongst the most ordinary lives as anyone on this earth can be happy if they want to be. It is not a matter of position or possession but simply a state of mind manifested from the kind of lifestyle we lead.

So what lifestyle changes should we make to be in a good mood everyday of our lives? What can one do so that a general state of positivity and good feeling is our way of life? Of course, this doesn’t mean we will not have our bad days and failures or go through situations that can make us feel temporarily defeated. But how do we bounce back out of it quickly and live in a state of positivity and confidence that things will surely turn in our favour? How to be in a happy mood on a very ordinary day and love each moment of our routine life? We can aim for our goals only when we have a strong positive mindset, don’t we? So how do we do that? For that we have to adopt a lifestyle that embraces activities and programmes that promote happiness.

1. Exercise is known to be a great mood booster as it releases endorphins that helps alleviate our mood. So, if you make it a habit to exercise everyday then it can help you in beating stress and annihilate the heaviness that might clutter your way of thinking. It will aid in keeping you in a lighter and happier mood while going about your daily business every day. Regular exercise will also keep you fit and give you a sense of achievement where your physique is concerned. If you dislike the gym you can opt to do something more suited to your interests and personality such as dancing, yoga or any other fun sport like tennis, badminton, basketball etc. The friends and acquaintances you meet at the gym or club will also give you a sense of belonging and companionship as your goals and passions will be more in line with them.
   
   
2. Meditation is a must if you want to live a happy life. Meditation calms any kind of turmoil that you might be feeling inside or any problem that might tend to make you restless. It soothes the mind and helps eliminate negative thoughts that might haunt you and bring you down on a daily basis. You will feel a sense of calm and see your problems more logically – in other words with a sense of wisdom. The practice of meditation helps shed more light on the problems you are facing and analyse them better. You tend to gain clarity over them and achieve peace of mind. It develops your intuition better and helps you find more rational solutions to them. You will find yourself feeling less and less bitter as it increases your emotional stability. A feeling of relaxation tends to pervade in your everyday life. It helps increase your creativity too. It reduces the restlessness inside by stabilizing your thoughts and helps you gain more focus in your work. It expands your consciousness and you tend to view things from a greater perspective than before. All in all it gives you a greater sense of wisdom.
   
   
3. Drink water. Water keeps you hydrated and less cranky.
   
   
4. Start keeping a journal. Write down your problems. It helps empty out that clutter clogging your mind and makes you feel lighter as if you have removed a major weight from your shoulders. It releases pent-up feelings and emotions. Once you write down your feelings, it gives you a better perspective of the agitation you are feeling inside by gaining more clarity. It helps you sort out your feelings better by disentangling them, processing them and relating them more logically with outer events. You see your problems more maturely as an outsider and thereby easily find solutions for them. You find your worries less overwhelming and easy to let go. It helps balance your mind and increase emotional stability. It soothes your troubled mind by allowing you to counsel yourself. It helps in healing yourself and thereby bringing in harmony to your life.

5. Try to live in the present. The more you live in the present the better you will feel everyday of your life. Needless worrying about the future and dwelling in the past is a great mood killer. Live in the philosophy that the past has been done and gone. The lesson learnt will pay richly all your life. And even if you feel there was no lesson then there is no point dwelling in it. Expect that whatever will happen in future will only be for your best. Believe in that higher source that there is a greater, grander design for you and only the best will follow.
   
   
6. Strive to embrace a broader view of things. Try to forgive others and let go. The more we hold on to a grudge, more does it make us a bitter and an angrier person. It will make us even more low and dismal. It will make us unhappier than the other person we are angry about. The more we let go, the lighter will be our state of mind and overall mood. Understand that when a person is negative with you then most likely that is how the person’s basic nature is. He or she, in general, carries that attitude in life and behaves the same with all others too. Just forgive and forget. This doesn’t mean you have to be very friendly with that person and blindly believe in them again. But be wiser by releasing the anger, keeping a distance from that person and being more cautious next time.
   
   
7. If somebody doesn’t live up to your expectations, then try to see things from their point of view from time to time. Maybe that person was having a bad day and hence didn’t notice you or pay you any attention. Maybe your friend had a major disagreement with his colleague at office and so was somewhat snappy with you.
   
   
8. Be a kinder and a helpful person. This really helps in building up more happy hormones in you. When we help others, notice that we feel much better and lighter after that act of kindness. If we resolve to do something kind every day, then our life in general will be a very positive one.
   
   
9. Develop a hobby especially a creative one like painting, sketching, pottery and craftwork. It will keep you totally immersed in the creative process and after an hour or so you will feel so much better and happier.
   
   
10. Strive to be as emotionally independent and self reliant as possible. Because there maybe times you won’t find anyone around when you are low or depressed. People are quite caught up with their own lives and rarely you will find people generous to lend time to you out of their own challenging busy lives. So be your best friend always. Don’t have expectations from others even if he or she is your best friend or your sibling. People keep changing as per the situations in life. Everyone is on their own growth path and might make mistakes in their journey of life. It’s part of being human. So don’t have expectations however much you have done for them. Expectations only ruin relationships. Give and forget. As the Bible says, when you do charity, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. This age-old philosophy will always keep you mentally strong, emotionally independent and happy. It will help you achieve emotional balance as your feelings or mood will not depend on any external factors. You will be the sole owner of your own happiness. So be passionate about your own stuff that is your work, your hobbies, your fitness activities and other practices such as yoga, meditation etc. This will keep your mind always involved, busy and happy. It will steer you away from those negative monkey thoughts that are the root cause of unhappiness and a bad mood.
    
    
11. Live in confidence always that whatever challenges or goals you have, there is always a higher source, or the universe if you’d like to call it, to help you and guide you to achieve your dreams. Wishes are prayers that are bound to come true if we have enough faith in ourselves and that higher source.
    
    
12. Never feel superior or inferior to anyone. Each of us is born with special talents and gifts. Be confident in your talents but appreciate what you don’t have in others. This will give you a balanced feeling about how you perceive yourself and others.

History repeats itself and Plato about Arts

History repeats itself. And people forget about history. There is no easy fix   It is easy to think that wars are in the past, that society has changed and it will never happen again. As memory fades, Gaia’s events from the past can become events of the present. The more things change, the more they stay the same. What we are seeing is that ‘digital’ acts as a magnifier, and accelerator. The problem is still the same. The isolation of East and West, North and South. Wealth inequality is a social and civic conversations that is not new but that has been catalysed through digital media.

Manuscript from the 300 AC, containing fragments of Plato's Republic.

Plato in the Republic rejects any form of illusionism in art. He calls it mimesis or ‘imitation’. This has also created a question what is the Greek word “mimesis”? And why does this matter?

I’ve been reading romantic stories since childhood: Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, etc. I started on the ubiquitous Harlequin romances in the 1970s. By the time I was fourteen, I’d figured out the formula for a successful romance novel: boy meets girl; boy and girl hate each other; boy manhandles girl; girl falls in love with boy; boy and girl get married and live happily ever after.

I wasn’t sure that was an improvement upon the damsel-in-distress scenario featured in fairytales and mythology.

In the 1980s, heroines in romance novels began to grow up. They no longer aspired to grand career goals of serving as underpaid nannies to wealthy widowers. They acquired post-secondary educations and found professional employment. I’ve seen few romances about women in the skilled trades, but doctors, lawyers, and business owners seemed an improvement over uneducated 18-year-old girls who needed a rich man either to restore them to a lifestyle they once enjoyed before their daddies went bankrupt or to lift them from the lives of poverty into which they’d been born. These heroines might not have been obscenely affluent, but they held their own in a man’s world. These heroines served as role models of women who got it all: a great career, husbands devoted to them, and, presumably, two-point-five children and a dog.

Heroes began to evolve, too. Not much, because women continue to enjoy the fantasy of an alpha male who’s successful, confident, and skilled in the bedroom. But those heroes began to see women as competent, intelligent adults, not just soft, warm receptacles for their lust to be used once and discarded like toilet paper.

Over the last ten to fifteen years, romance has been backsliding. Sure, the Cinderella story remains popular. It always will. My own books take full advantage of that. But somewhere along the line, up and coming authors began to subscribe to old archetypes and to create new ones that really don’t flatter their own gender:

●       The ingénue. This is the innocent, young virgin, usually poverty-stricken, who hasn’t gone beyond high school and is sweet enough to rot every tooth in a reader’s head.

●       The party girl. This is the shallow, promiscuous young woman who thinks one night stands carry no consequences, is often too fascinated by pricey, name-brand shoes or coffee, and lives with roommates who are also giddy, squealing, fashion-obsessed dimwits.

●       Cinderella. This standard character harkens back to the original. She’s hardworking, employed in a menial job for which she is ostensibly overqualified, and either in college or recently graduated with a degree.

There are, of course, variations on the romance heroine tropes, but professional, competent, and intelligent heroines have become scarce. I find that worrisome enough.

Adding to the disappointment are today’s popular heroes. They’re tall, handsome, wealthy, and confident. They go beyond confidence into arrogance. These guys don’t walk into a room, they swagger. They’re unrepentant womanizers and most enjoy having a different woman in their beds every night. The willingness of women to join the vast, lust-riddled hordes that parade through their bedrooms invites contempt toward the entire gender. These heroes fall into standard slots: CEO, biker, fighter, elite military warrior (pick your preferred military branch), cowboy/rancher.

So, there they go, working hard and enjoying the vast variety of female flesh happily presenting itself for their entertainment when--boom!--our heroine appears. She either needs rescuing from danger or poverty, or she’s his administrative assistant (secretary), or he kidnaps her because he wants her and he always takes what he wants.

What a jerk.

Of course, our heroine is so overcome by her raging hormones that she succumbs to his blandishments, thrills in the liberties he takes, and loves that he doesn’t take “No” for an answer.

In the real world, we call this sexual assault and rape.

But wait, there’s more! Let’s go further into the sub-genre of “dark” romance with its descent into the world of BDSM. Yes, we all know who’s dominant and who’s submissive, don’t we? We know who’s obeying whose orders and who gets punished for disobedience, don’t we? And, oh, it’s so sexy that he gets to tie up our heroine and strike or whip her, leaving welts and bruises on her skin.

In the real world, we call that abuse.

Now let’s compound this with recognition of the people--mainly women--who write this stuff. The days of Nora Roberts, Danielle Steele, and Jayne Ann Krentz are far from over--they’re still pumping out novels. But a new generation of authors cranks out an overwhelming number of romance novels that negate the progress women have made over the last fifty years. These writers are women in their twenties and early thirties who don’t remember being denied an opportunity because she was cursed with that second X chromosome. These are women who don’t recognize the term “Women’s Lib.” These are women who romanticize and glorify Stockholm Syndrome in their abduction fantasies and send their heroines back a couple hundred of years when women were chattel. Yet these heroines are content to be treated like chattel, as long as their heroes settle them into lives of luxury and pamper them like prize poodles.

These authors offer their young, impressionable audience heroines that exhibit traits we’d hate to see in our own daughters: unjustified obstinacy, terminal stupidity, promiscuity, shallowness, and an abject acceptance of poor treatment from their heroes because a heady orgasm makes everything okay.

I write romance. I’ve even written heroes who aren’t nice guys. I wrote an abduction romance. But my heroine was clever enough to escape his clutches and evade recapture for years while my hero suffered greatly for his hubris. (Credit that to an early influence of Greek mythology.)  My heroines may be underemployed and occasionally pigheaded, but they aren’t too stupid to live. These characters have human flaws and a level of self-respect lacking in too many of today’s heroines. They’re people you wouldn’t be ashamed to introduce to your family.

So, if you’re a woman of Generations Y or Z, what message do you want to send to yourself and to the young women born in the following generation? One that shows women as helpless, stupid, and enslaved by their hormones? Or one that shows independence, self-respect, and a happily ever after because she wants to be with the hero, not because she depends upon him for her existence?

Romance is the only genre that’s mainly written by women for women and which validates women’s happiness and fulfillment. It should inspire us to become better, not reduce us to weak-minded chattel.

Introduction 

It is almost impossible to make somebody believe in something they cannot perceive. For this reason, we cannot blame anybody for not believing in spirit or an invisible God. This brings us to an extremely important question. What is the reason for so many people rejecting the Bible? Is the Bible no more relevant, or is it simply the way that dogmatic religion transformed a book of spiritual science, into a history and storybook? Do science and religion meet, and if they do, where is the missing link? In this book, we will learn that there is a link that clearly connects science and religion and that there is much more to the Bible’s mysteries than people ever imagined. 

If I had to tell you, that Adam never was the first human on earth, would you believe me? Not only was he not the first human on earth, but he never was a physical human being. You might also find it hard to believe, that Jesus never was a physical human being either. We will also learn, that God does not live in space and that no god will physically come on the clouds to destroy the earth. After reading this book, we will have a clear understanding of what Jesus is, and we will see, that there were two Adams. The first Adam was earthy, and the second Adam was from heaven. As a matter of fact, the second Adam was a spiritually enlightened being, and the Lord from heaven. We will also learn, that there never was a Jesus that was physically crucified. The recording of our creation in Genesis was not a recording of our physical universe, and that evolution and the creation in Genesis perfectly connect. If we do not understand the physical creation the way scientists and Darwin explained it by evolution; the creation in the Bible will not make any sense at all. If you do not believe in evolution, and you believe that the creation in Genesis was a recording of our physical creation; ask yourself this question: What is the reason for believing in what you believe in? Is it simply because you want to believe what the masses believe in? Do the Bible and all its teachings, honestly make sense to you? According to you; does the Bible contradict itself, or does it not? We have to remember, that God is Light; and if we do not understand something, we are in darkness. In this book, we will compare contradiction texts. And we will see, that everything makes perfect sense; from Genesis to Revelation; when we understand the codes, in which the Bible was written.

Surgery did one thing for sure: It took me down. I was forced to rest, which was a good thing. Good, but not always easy for a type A personality like me. I work hard, and I play hard. I’ve now learned to rest as well. In athletics, there is an intensity-to-recovery ratio. The more intense your workout, the more recovery is required. Think of surgery as an extreme workout for your body, mind, and emotions.

If I’m honest with myself, life before my hysterectomy was lived at 180 miles per hour. I have since learned that a balanced life requires-even demands-rest and recovery on a daily basis. I cannot wait for an annual vacation to take a break. I require timeouts on a quarterly, monthly, weekly, and daily basis. This is where I take time to tune out the world and relax, play, and release the stress of everyday life. It is a time to rest, recover, reflect, and bring my life back into balance. I had to learn to make this a regular aspect of my healthy lifestyle, not a quick fix. When my body is tired and my spirit weary, the best thing I can do is rest.

Signs that would indicate you may not be recovering from surgery or that surgical menopause is taking a toll on you include:

• Difficulty waking up in the morning.
• Requiring more stimulants (caffeine, sugar) to keep going.
• Utilizing alcohol, sleeping pills, or other substances to wind down or fall asleep.
• Exhibiting a shorter fuse than normal, especially with loved ones.
• Lack of focus, creativity, or productivity.

To become more aware of what areas of life might need some extra attention, you can ask yourself the following questions.

• “Am I fueling my body with the proper nutrients?”
• “Am I sleeping enough? Do I require a nap?”
• “When was the last time I had a date night? Family day? Time with a friend?”
• “When was the last time I got lost in a good book or a movie?”
• “Can I give myself a creative outlet through writing, music, dance or art?”
• “Do I need to unplug from the computer, phone, or social media?”
• “Have I taken a day, weekend, or week off lately?”
• “Are my vacations becoming staycations, where I work so hard around the house that I have to go back to work to rest?”
• “Have I rejuvenated at the beach, by the lake or an ocean, in the mountains, or elsewhere in nature?”
• “When was the last time I laughed?”
• “Is my schedule too full? Where can I build in rest and recovery?”

If you find yourself less focused, creative, friendly, or productive, as I did, it may benefit you to slow down or take a break. As our intensity-to-recovery ratio improves, we are better able to come back stronger, more creative, productive, and refreshed, and with renewed energy and excitement. We have more passion for our career, relationships, and life in general. We’ll find we are balanced through the transition of menopause.

It may seem odd to talk about menopause bringing gifts. But as someone who’s been there, I can look back and realize it does.

I believe perspective plays a huge role in how we enter menopause, regardless of whether it is natural or surgically induced, as well as in how quickly we heal.

Think back to when you first got your period. What was your perspective? Did you view it as an honor as you stepped into womanhood, like my friend Susan? Or were you more like my friend Stephanie, who viewed it as terribly embarrassing—always having accidents and not being able to go in the water at the beach for fear of bleeding through? For me, I understood that getting my period made me a woman and enabled me to have children. With my young naïve mind, I thought that the day I got my period I would become pregnant. Silly? Or the power of a child’s brain who takes things literally?

What is your perspective on menopause? Is it a time of distress and discomfort? A signal of aging? Do you fear the best years are behind you? Are you focused completely on your symptoms? Or do you see this transition as a rite of passage and a time to discover or rediscover your power, purpose, passion, and authenticity?

I love that the Chinese refer to menopause as the second spring. They consider it a time to reflect on life and turn our focus inward to nurture ourselves. That rings true for me, as this season of my life already has had an ongoing theme of self-love, self-care, and self-reflection.

Just like surgery may have benefits of alleviating pain or risk of disease, menopause can be a wonderful transition with positive side effects such as:

• No more periods, cramping, tampons, or pads.
• We can finally wear white pants again, any time of the month.
• We can enjoy sex without risk of pregnancy.
• We may have greater confidence and self-assuredness.
• We don’t have to schedule our sex lives, athletics, or vacations around our periods.

After my surgery, it took time for my body to heal physically. It took even longer for my mind and emotional health to stabilize.

There were times when I felt broken. I had to constantly remind myself that I was in a state of healing and change. Even though I felt broken, I told myself that I was whole, strong, and valuable.

Surgery and surgical menopause can be both frustrating and exhausting. The last thing we need to do is to beat ourselves up. And isn’t that one of our greatest strengths as women? We think we should heal faster, we shouldn’t cry for no reason, and we should be able to do it all… even right after a surgery. The only thing we need to do is cut ourselves some slack and remind ourselves that this too shall pass.

That’s a perspective I can embrace.

Have you ever been shocked by the content of a book, movie, or television show?

Especially as parents, many of us have expressed concern about what our children and grandchildren are exposed to at what ages. With respect to literature, one way that publishers and book reviewers describe a story is by labelling it as Young Adult (adolescent), New Adult (college-aged), or Adult based on the ages of the primary characters. This article is a critique of the strict application of that practice, and touches upon issues related to maturity rating based upon violent and sexual content.

Many readers remember the infamous line screamed by a thirteen year old in The Exorcist: “…Your mother sucks cocks in Hell….” – a line that’s hard to forget. The movie was rated age 16+ but tons of younger kids read the book and watched the movie. The adolescent insult in ET: “penis breath” is also unforgettable. Elliot was ten years old when he insulted his brother by revealing his awareness of oral sex, about which his mother didn’t blink an eye. This story was vigorously consumed by appreciative YA and younger audiences. I remember being personally shocked when I watched a cartoon X-Ray of a gerbil climbing within a gay teacher’s rectum on South Park as he had orgasms on TV. This show is highly popular among kids, as were some of the sexual puns and potty humor on the Beavis and Butthead show. Age of the primary characters may not always be descriptive of maturing rating, whether the content will take us too far outside of our comfort zones, or whether it is appropriate for children.

Another strategy for defining maturity ratings that has been applied relates to violent content. I’m not sure how it happened, but, ironically, some of the most violent content in the marketplace now appears to be within YA novels and video games for kids. One of the bloodiest scenes that I’ve ever read was in a book that I was assigned to review through a Goodreads program. It was a labeled to be YA vampire story but was filled with violence, teenage angst that bordered on soft pornography, and included substance abuse. I won’t mention its title because my review was a low rating, but that book caused me to drop out of the Goodreads program and vow to avoid reading YA novels without fully checking them out first. At age sixty-five, I guess that I’m just not mature enough to handle the violence in some young adult literature.

Now let’s get to the nasty – sexual content about which I feel comfortably numb. Much more so than violent content, parental guidance ratings appear to be related to sex. Of course, any person of any age who has access to the internet could watch hardcore porn given an interest. Still, laws that restrict access are a positive symbolism.

With respect to genre confusion, it appears to me that a maturity rating could be applied by producers, editors and reviewers by weighing content and target audiences outside of simply the age of the characters or the violent and sexual content of the works. Some people will never be mature enough to “get” the satire of some stories, and some children are much more astute about their worlds than many parents want to believe. Personally, I’m going to try and ignore age-related genre classification as I decide what entertainments to consume during the short period of time that humans are allotted. From now on, I vow to read reviews in their entirety. I would hate to miss something great because of a label.

THE HOUSE THAT LOVE BUILT –

       A VALENTINE’S DAY STORY by Paul Lonardo

HALLOWEEN HAS BECOME A MONTH LONG CELEBRATION by Paul Lonardo

Shake On It – Or Not  by Paul Lonardo

My writing journey started as I pondered if I had a book in me while I took my daily “power walks” around and around my neighborhood. I thought about the diaries and scrapbooks I kept while growing up, that were sitting up in my attic. Surely all that documentation would be useful.

One day while on my walk, I had the idea to take all the romances I had back in the day, and turn it into one long relationship. Once I had that idea, I was good to go!

To write the best story possible, I realized that being completely authentic was of paramount importance. I remember a famous fiction author saying that although her story is fiction, there is nothing in it that didn’t really happen in real life. That is completely true of April’s Heart as well. Which lends itself to some controversial points that I will discuss later in this article. I felt everything I wrote had to be pretty much exactly the way it was. The big things and the small. This made the writing a little easier because I had such a strong picture in my mind, right down to the hand gestures of a character. I wanted my readers to have the same picture in their heads as I did in mine. That was really important to me.

I finished April’s Heart on the Fourth of July, 2019. I started reading tons of articles about editing and publishing. It was all very daunting. I discussed the cost of editing with a trusted friend who told me, right or wrong, I’m still not sure, for my husband and I to edit it ourselves. I took that advice and our approach was for me to read it out loud to him. We had a blast! He found the story very funny and moving. And although he and I did not grow up together, it brought back tons of his own old memories, including heartbreaks from former girlfriends and such. We would end up laughing, then stopping to discuss our teenage years. It was hard to believe after all these years of marriage that I was hearing some pretty crazy stories for the first time!

We read it out loud twice. I found this helpful in that if I myself stumbled over a sentence, it needed to be fixed. We would discuss certain sentences or passages over and over again, way beyond the readings that summer. It’s amazing what changing one little word can do. Every word had to be purposeful. We wanted less rather than more, and constantly kept that in mind.

After our two readings together, I read it six more times. I also gave copies to several friends and relatives, and their feedback was very helpful.

The music of the time period helps tell the story of April’s Heart. I researched how to use song lyrics in books, and learned four basic ideas, all of which were used in my novel. First, titles of songs are not copyrighted, so if just using the title of a song was enough to get my point across, great! Next, you can rephrase a segment of a song lyric, so it’s not a direct quote. Did that. Or you can make up your own song lyric to suite your purpose, no problem there. And finally, you can ask permission to the holders of the copyright to reprint lyrics. So I asked myself what were the most important songs that I felt strongly enough about to go through the difficult process of finding the right copyright holders, contacting them, waiting and waiting, getting the permission, paying the fee and signing an agreement. As you may know, there are two songs in which lyrics are reprinted with permission, as stated on the copyright page of my book.

During my research about using copyrighted material I stumbled across an article in which an author gave credit to the artists of the songs he referenced by embedding a free 30 second Spotify link right there in the text. That changed everything for me! My husband and I decided to go for it! I went through the story again, listing all the songs referenced. He secured the Spotify links and showed me how to embed them into the text. As you may know, April’s Heart has almost 40 (37 to be exact) Spotify music links on all the songs in the ebook edition. I think this makes the story a lot of fun, and brings the reader right back to the time and place of the eighties.

We planned to have a photo shoot in a local high school with some young friends we would pay as models. We wanted April and Mitch up against the lockers looking at each other longingly. I thought I had done everything right. I filled out the paperwork to use the school, set the day and time with my chosen models, discussed clothing, everything. Exactly 24 hours before the photo shoot I get a call from someone in charge of such uses of schools who tells me I need a million dollar insurance policy! I was devastated and forced to cancel the shoot!

My ever supportive husband took the beach dune photo that now graces the cover of April’s Heart. I now know that most authors contract with a professional to design a cover, but again, right or wrong, we were not willing to do that. We are planning to remake the cover this summer, adding some sexy detail like a bikini top on a beach blanket. I am currently waiting for a review of April’s Heart from a group of people who collectively discuss the story and the cover, and agree on a review. I want to see what they have to say about the cover before we proceed.

I published April’s Heart using Kindle Direct Publishing. It was pretty easy to use, but had some challenges as well. However, their system of calling you when you need help was brilliant, and really helped me more than once to navigate some tricky things that I just wouldn’t be able to figure out myself!

April’s Heart paperback debuted on January 17, 2020 and the ebook on January 21, my husband’s birthday. Although April’s Heart has been largely well received, sales are slow. I have a handful of reviews, mostly positive, but it has been difficult to get any traction going. There is just so much content these days, it’s hard to get noticed. But hey, you never know, sometimes lightening does strike!

As I stated earlier in this article, everything that happened in April’s Heart actually happened in real life. That includes the drinking, drug use, and sexual activity of minors. I thought long and hard about this as I wrote my story and the year that has followed. I had to be true to myself and my readers. I can apologize for the actions of these characters, but for me, and so many people I know, this is the way it was. The late seventies and eighties. Sometimes I cringed as I questioned whether I should include a certain detail, but I just had to man up, be brave and just put it in there. “Just put it in there” became a small mantra of mine!

I feared what people would think. I feared offending people. Some of the best advice I got when I shared my fears with an author friend of mine was that not everyone is going to like ANY story. There is no story that is everyone’s cup of tea. You’ve just got to accept and expect that. Boy, that really helped me. I stopped worrying about it.

Turns out, no one even mentioned it! Not until recently that is. As a publicity function I agreed to participate in a certain program, but was notified by the organizers that they were disturbed by the content of April’s Heart, and did not want their program associated with my book. I simply emailed them back with two words, “No worries”. I let it go.

But, like I said, my readers really like April’s Heart and have left some amazing reviews that focus on the emotions of young love.

It may be a matter of research on how has social media, particularly Facebook and WhatsApp affected society.

I can talk about the changes in me and the part of society In which I move.                    1. It has created loneliness for some people and given succor from loneliness to the people,  who were lonely. At least these people can have contacts and communicate with them in cyberspace.

2. It is good and presently necessary to keep in touch with our family, relatives, and friends.

3. People are following 'Sharing is caring' and 'sharing is joy' and sharing compulsively too much. People are sharing even otherwise the unshareable things like pictures of very personal and private moments.

4. Some times I doubt that social media has changed the personality of some persons or caused duel or multiple personality syndromes. Introvert becomes extrovert and vise Versa. Some introverts start talking much and some extroverts prefer silently watching the activities without any reaction. We can see a marked difference in the behavior of some people online and offline.

I have also changed. I was a reserved guy shying away from any publicity or limelight. Now I like to share all my activities, life events, and any big or small achievements online.

Sometimes I feel a bit embarrassed by this newly acquired behavior.

However, I like social media, recognize it's power and usefulness. It can be misused also so need some caution.

Go on sharing good things on social media. Spread love and peace.

1. Mirror Imaged Shree Mad BhagvadGita (Pen) Piyush Goel has a unique art, he can write words in mirror image Piyush Goel can write words in mirror image in two languages Hindi and English.He has completed “World First Mirror Image Book Shreemad BhagvadGita”, all 18 chapters, 700 verses in two languages Hindi and English.Besides all of these he has completed “Shree Durga SaptSatti” in Sanskrit Languages, Shree Sai Satcharitra in two languages Hindi and English,Sundar Kand (two times).

2. Needle Write Book “Madhushala”(Needle)To read a book in front of a mirror ,reading then mirror very hard.People asked Piyush to read your mirror imaged books,mirror is necessary, he replied “Yes”.After a lot of thinking an idea stuck into his mind “Why should i not write a book with Needle.Then he started writing “Madhushala”,a book of Harbans Rai Bachchan,father of Amitabh Bachchan,Legend of IndianCinema,now no need of Mirror.(Mirror image but no need of mirror).

3. Book “Gitanjali” written with Mehndi Cone(Mehdi Cone)Piyush always think “DO SOMETHING NEW”, because of this thinking, he makes a project and work on it. Whenever he has spare time and bring out the work at the end and this is the result of “Gitanjali” a book of Noble Literate Rabindra Nath Tagore, completed with the help of Mehndi Cone.

4. Book “PiyushVani” with the help of Iron Nail (Iron Nail)Imagination and Creativity brings new things to the world, Piyush started writing “PiyushVani” one of his own published book, written on A-4 size Aluminium Sheet with the help of “Iron Nail”.(Mirror image but no need of mirror).

5. Book ‘Panchtantra” with the help of Carbon Paper (Carbon Paper)Recently Piyush Goel completed “Vishnu Sharma”,s “Panchtantra” 5 tantras,41 stories with the help of Carbon Paper, on one page both the words(mirror/non-mirror) appeared in front and in the reverse. (Mirror image but no need of mirror).